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Aide en exposée d'anglais

Dernière réponse : dans Etudes - Travail

Bonjour,

Mon groupe doit faire un exposé en Anglais sur une machine que nous devons inventer (plan et notice). Nous avons décidé de parler de vêtements qui pouvaient s'élargir et se rétrécir au lavage, ce qui permettrait de n'en acheter qu'une panoplie pour toute une vie.

Est-ce que ceci est correct ? (c'est le début de ce que je dirai à l'exposé) :

"Hello, I am the world-famous scientist M. O ! Why is nobody clapping ? Well, I am probably too famous for you (^^).
You can easily stretch, or shrink, our amazing clothes : this is not rocket science. You just have to put the clothes in a washing machine and change the temperature to resize them. Thanks to this table (- je montre un tableau qui relie taille et température -), you can see how many degrees Celcius you need to a certain size. For example, if you want a L size, choose forty degrees Celcius on your washing machine. Unfortunately you cannot have the size XS or XL, XXL, XXXL, up to X to the power of eight L with a standard machine. So call us and we would be able to provide you with a special washing machine so as to stretch (or shrink) your clothes as you want, XL and others included.
There is one important thing to do before washing the clothes : YOU MUST NOT FORGET TO TURN THEM INSIDE OUT. Because the outside is waterproof, but they use water to change size."

Merci d'avance pour vos corrections !

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Anonyme

GrandeLangue a dit :
Bonjour,

Mon groupe doit faire un exposé en Anglais sur une machine que nous devons inventer (plan et notice). Nous avons décidé de parler de vêtements qui pouvaient s'élargir et se rétrécir au lavage, ce qui permettrait de n'en acheter qu'une panoplie pour toute une vie.

Est-ce que ceci est correct ? (c'est le début de ce que je dirai à l'exposé) :

"Hello, I am the world-famous scientist M. O ! Why is nobody clapping ? Well, I am probably too famous for you (^^).
You can easily stretch, or shrink, our amazing clothes : this is not rocket science. You just have to put the clothes in a washing machine and change the temperature to resize them. Thanks to this table (- je montre un tableau qui relie taille et température -), you can see how many degrees Celcius you need to a certain size. For example, if you want a L size, choose forty degrees Celcius on your washing machine. Unfortunately you cannot have the size XS or XL, XXL, XXXL, up to X to the power of eight L with a standard machine. So call us and we would be able to provide you with a special washing machine so as to stretch (or shrink) your clothes as you want, XL and others included.
There is one important thing to do before washing the clothes : YOU MUST NOT FORGET TO TURN THEM INSIDE OUT. Because the outside is waterproof, but they use water to change size."

Merci d'avance pour vos corrections !

Salut,
C"est son introduction ça?

:hello:  C'est à nouveau moi pour l'exposé d'anglais.

Ceci est la fin de ce que je vais dire :

"Now, I will explain to you how it actually works. The clothes are made up of a new matter, that can be resized when it is in the water. In fact, the molecules move away when the temperature increase, and they come closer when the temperature decrease. More the molecules are distant, more the item of clothing is big. Also I and the other scientists have looked for the relationship between the temperature and the size. AND WE HAVE FOUND IT ! We have managed to solve an equation which involves the change in internal energy of the system "piece of clothing", delta U (- j'écris "ΔU =" au tableau -), and this equals to Q plus W (- j'écris "Q + W" -), where Q is heat added to the system and W the mechanical work done on it. It is really as easy as pie, isn't it ?
So the item of clothing is resized in the water during the washing, but it cannot if it is not immersed in water : don't worry, you can go in every places, hot or cold, your clothes don't change their size. Just try to keep them far away from the sea...
For further scientific details, you can contact me, and I will tell you more secrets about these extraordinary clothes. Goodbye !"

:pt1cable:  :pt1cable:  :pt1cable: 
Si vous n'êtes pas tombé raide mort d'un infarctus du cerveau, j'espère en tout cas que vous ne soyez pas trop traumatisés par ces explications scientifiques.
La question est : êtes-vous encore en état de me corriger :whistle: . J'aurais dû y penser avant d'écrire ce texte :lol: .

Merci d'avance pour vos corrections !
Anonyme

GrandeLangue a dit :
:hello:  C'est à nouveau moi pour l'exposé d'anglais.

Ceci est la fin de ce que je vais dire :

"Now, I will explain to you how it actually works. The clothes are made up of a new matter, that can be resized when it is in the water. In fact, the molecules move away when the temperature increase, and they come closer when the temperature decrease. More the molecules are distant, more the item of clothing is big. Also I and the other scientists have looked for the relationship between the temperature and the size. AND WE HAVE FOUND IT ! We have managed to solve an equation which involves the change in internal energy of the system "piece of clothing", delta U (- j'écris "ΔU =" au tableau -), and this equals to Q plus W (- j'écris "Q + W" -), where Q is heat added to the system and W the mechanical work done on it. It is really as easy as pie, isn't it ?
So the item of clothing is resized in the water during the washing, but it cannot if it is not immersed in water : don't worry, you can go in every places, hot or cold, your clothes don't change their size. Just try to keep them far away from the sea...
For further scientific details, you can contact me, and I will tell you more secrets about these extraordinary clothes. Goodbye !"

:pt1cable:  :pt1cable:  :pt1cable: 
Si vous n'êtes pas tombé raide mort d'un infarctus du cerveau, j'espère en tout cas que vous ne soyez pas trop traumatisés par ces explications scientifiques.
La question est : êtes-vous encore en état de me corriger :whistle: . J'aurais dû y penser avant d'écrire ce texte :lol: .

Merci d'avance pour vos corrections !

Pour une personne qui est en seconde.. tu maitrises très bien l'anglais.....si non c"est bien écrit t'as plus qu'à rédiger sur feuille maintenant :) .
Anonyme

GrandeLangue a dit :
Ok merci beaucoup ! (Je suis en Première classe européenne :) . J'ai même eu le First Certificate !)

Ah bon d'accord, bon courage pour la suite alors! :)  .

GrandeLangue a dit :
:hello:  C'est à nouveau moi pour l'exposé d'anglais.

Ceci est la fin de ce que je vais dire :

"Now, I will explain to you how it actually works. The clothes are made up of a new material(pas de virgule) that can be resized when it is in the water. In fact, the molecules move away when the temperature increase, and they come closer when the temperature decrease. => move away or come closer from what ? :/ 

The more the molecules are distant,the more the clothing item is big. Also the other scientists and I have looked for the relationship between the temperature and the size. AND WE HAVE FOUND IT ! We have managed to solve an equation which involves the change in internal energy of the system "piece of clothing", delta U (- j'écris "ΔU =" au tableau -), and this equals to Q plus W (- j'écris "Q + W" -), where Q is heat added to the system and W the mechanical work done on it. It is really as easy as pie, isn't it ?
So the item of clothing is resized in the water during the washing, but it cannot if it is not immersed in water : don't worry, you can go in every places, hot or cold, your clothes don't/won't ? change their size. Just try to keep them far away from the sea...
For further scientific details, you can contact me, and I will tell you more secrets about these extraordinary clothes. Goodbye !"

:pt1cable:  :pt1cable:  :pt1cable: 
Si vous n'êtes pas tombé raide mort d'un infarctus du cerveau, j'espère en tout cas que vous ne soyez pas trop traumatisés par ces explications scientifiques.
La question est : êtes-vous encore en état de me corriger :whistle: . J'aurais dû y penser avant d'écrire ce texte :lol: .

Merci d'avance pour vos corrections !


C'est pas mal, j'ai corrige quelques points et mis quelques suggestions pour faire un texte plus fluide (notamment j'ai barre quelques mots "redondants").

Bon courage. ;) 

[:16megs]

Citation :
In fact, the molecules move away when the temperature increase, and they come closer when the temperature decrease. => move away or come closer from what ? :/ 

En fait, je pensais à : Les molécules s'éloignent les unes des autres, et se rapprochent les unes des autres.

Serait-ce donc : In fact, the molecules move away one another when the temperature increase, and they come closer one another when the temperature decrease. ?
Ou alors : In fact, the molecules move away from each other when the temperature increase, and they come closer from each other when the temperature decrease. ?
Ou d'autres verbes que move away et come closer ? Mais j'ai cherché dans mes dictionnaires et ceux en ligne, je n'ai rien trouvé de mieux.

GrandeLangue a dit :
[:16megs]

Citation :
In fact, the molecules move away when the temperature increase, and they come closer when the temperature decrease. => move away or come closer from what ? :/ 

En fait, je pensais à : Les molécules s'éloignent les unes des autres, et se rapprochent les unes des autres.

Serait-ce donc : In fact, the molecules move away from one another when the temperature increase, and they come closer to one another when the temperature decreases. ?
Ou alors : In fact, the molecules move away from each other when the temperature increase, and they come closer from each other when the temperature decrease. ?
Ou d'autres verbes que move away et come closer ? Mais j'ai cherché dans mes dictionnaires et ceux en ligne, je n'ai rien trouvé de mieux.


Le plus joli c'est un melange des deux:
In fact, the molecules move away from one another when the temperature increase, and they come closer to one another when the temperature decreases.
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