Expression écrite en anglais

merci d'exprimer quelques formes de politesses ce serait déjà plus civil que de poser ton texte comme ça !

Bref...

Quel est le sujet de ton expression écrite ? que veux tu qu'on fasse de ton texte ? qu'on le corrige ou qu'on te dise s'il est bien ?

i went for my couzin -> tu es allé le chercher et vous etes rentrés chez toi ou tu as dormi chez ta grand mere ? tu as dormi chez toi et lui est resté là bas ? sois précis...

enfin c'est pas de la grande littérature tout ça... Tu aurais pu faire des efforts sur les mots de liaison et le style... parce que superposer des éléments comme ça sans rien dire de plus, y'a rien de plus chiant à lire ! (je me met à la place de ton prof qui risque de recevoir 30 copies comme ça..............)

Bonjour, je suis un élève de 3e et j'ai une biographie à faire sur tony hawk (le skater) et j'ai des petits problèmes avec l'orthographe et la grammaire. Merci de bien vouloir le corriger et de me dire où je pourrais mettre des mots de liaison (who, where, which, taht, whom)


How it all started

Tony Hawk was born in San diego, California,on May 12,1968. His parents are Frank and Nancy Hawk, Frank was a officer of the U.S. Navy and Nancy was a teacher has part-time and I had one brother. At the age of 9 years old, his older brother, Steve he made him discover the skateboard and gave him one of his boards. Tony Hawk became professional, at the age of 11 years. After that, On July 27, 1999, one figure propels him in the rank of the most popular skater in the world, the « 900 » Hawk was the first skater to land a « 900 » in competition, it consist of two rotations and one half rotation in the air (360 + 360 + 180). Tony was a student at the Torrey Pines High School near Del Mar.

Piling up hits

In 1987, Tony Hawk acted in the film Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol as one of the teenage skateboarders. In 1989, he acted as a skateboarder in Gleaming The Cube. In 2004 he played himself in the Australian skateboarding movie Deck Dogz. In 2003, He appeared in The Simpson : Homer is going to pay with him. In 2006, Tony Hawk appeared in a cameo on the film Drake & Josh Go Hollywood as himself; when Drake & Josh steal his car to escape from two crooks with the Geo (iPods) that carry illegal information for counterfeiting money. He also made a cameo appearance in the Simple Plan music video for "I'm Just a Kid", he can be seen, in a crowd, watching kids at a high school skating and A video game series based on his skateboarding debuted in 1999. Since then, the series has spawned 15 titles and on and on...

More than a skater

Tony Hawk is also the creator of Tony Hawk Foundation, an organization purpose the mission of which is to help the modest communities to create parks skateboards. He is the author of an entitled autobiography Hawk : occupation : Skateboarder. More than of these, Tony is a father. Hawk married Cindy Dunbar on April 1990. They had a son, Hudson "Riley" Hawk was born on December 6, 1992. Riley also skates for Hawk's own Birdhouse Skateboards. The couple was divorced in 1993. Hawk married Erin Lee in 1996. They had two sons, Spencer was born on July 26, 1999 and Keegan was born on March 18, 2001. They were divorced in 2004. Hawk married Lhotse Merriam on January 12, 2006, a daughter named Kadence Clover Hawk was born on June 30, 2008.

bonjour !! j'ai un petit peu de temps alors je commence la correction, je la finirai dans la soirée ;-)


How it all started

Tony Hawk was born in San diego, California,on May 12,1968. He studied at the Torrey Pines High School near Del Mar and then was an officer of the U.S.(placé ici ça a plus de cohérence). His parents are Frank and Nancy Hawk.
Navy and Nancy was a teacher has part-time and I had one brother(cette phrase ne veut rien dire).
At the age of 9 (years old) (pas obligé de mettre "years old", c'est même mieux si il n'y est pas), his older brother, (pas de virgule) Steve he made him discover the skateboarding and gave him one of his own boards. Tony Hawk became a professional at the age of 11 years (soit tu mets "years old" soit rien du tout).
After that, On July 27, 1999, one of his figures propels him in to the rank of the most popular skater in the world. Hawk was the first skater to land a « 900 » in competition, it this figure consists of in doingtwo rotations and one half rotation and a half in the air (360 + 360 + 180).


Je m'arrête là pour l'instant je finirai un peu plus tard. ;-)
PS: je ne suis qu'étudiante alors il se peut que je laisse passer des fautes...

Piling up hits

First, in 1987, Tony Hawk acted in the film "Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol" as one of the teenage skateboarders. Then, in 1989, he acted as a skateboarder in Gleaming The Cube. In 2003, He appeared in The Simpson : Homer is going to pay with him. Moreover in 2004 he played his own character in the Australian skateboarding movie Deck Dogz. In 2006, Tony Hawk got a cameo role for the movie Drake & Josh Go Hollywood playing his own role when Drake & Josh steal his car to escape from two crooks with the Geo (iPods) that carry illegal information for counterfeiting money. He also got a cameo role in the Simple Plan music video for "I'm Just a Kid" where he can be seen in a crowd, watching kids at in a high school skating(que veux-tu dire par là ?) and last but not least a video game series based on his skateboarding debuted in 1999. Since then, the series has spawned 15 titles and more...

voilà je t'ai rajouté plusieurs mots de liaisons et corrigé quelques fautes, mais globalement ce parapgraphe était pas mal ;-)

Merci beaucoup et pour high school skating je pense que je me suis trompé c'est pas plutot skating school pour école de skate et pour le dernier paragraphe il est bien ?

More than a skater

Tony Hawk is also the creator of Tony Hawk Foundation, an organization purpose the mission of which is to help the modest communities to create parks skateboards. He is the author of an entitled autobiography Hawk : occupation : Skateboarder. More than of these, Tony is a father. Hawk married Cindy Dunbar on April 1990. They had a son, Hudson "Riley" Hawk was born on December 6, 1992. Riley also skates for Hawk's own Birdhouse Skateboards. The couple was divorced in 1993. Hawk married Erin Lee in 1996. They had two sons, Spencer was born on July 26, 1999 and Keegan was born on March 18, 2001. They were divorced in 2004. Hawk married Lhotse Merriam on January 12, 2006, a daughter named Kadence Clover Hawk was born on June 30, 2008.

Eh bien pour tout te dire il y a pas mal de fautes... lol. mais bon certaines moins graves que d'autres ;-). Rien de non rectifiable rassure toi ! Par exemple, retiens que divorcer se dit "to get divorced" et si tu veux dire divorcer DE quelqu'un ce sera "to divorce someone", et se marrier fonctionne pareil. Voilà, des petites choses par ci par là quoi ! Si tu as des questions n'hésites pas je t'expliquerai du mieux que je peux... et pour répondre à ta question, il je pense que "skateboard school" irait mieux.



More than a skater

Tony Hawk is also the creator of the Tony Hawk Foundation: an organization purpose the mission of which (ça ne veut rien dire !) its purpose is to help the modest communities to create parks <-> skateboards (il faut inverser les 2 termes et supprimer le s à la fin de sketeboard: to create skateboard parks). He is the author of an entitled autobiography an autobiography entitled : "Hawk : occupation : Skateboarder". More than of these But more than that, Tony is a father. Hawk He married Cindy Dunbar on April 1990. They had a son named Hudson "Riley" Hawk who was born on December 6, 1992. Riley also skates for Hawk's own his father's Birdhouse Skateboards. The couple was gotdivorced in 1993. Then, Hawk married Erin Lee in 1996. They had two sons: Spencer was born on July 26, 1999 and Keegan (was born) on March 18, 2001. They were divorced But Hawk divorced Erin in 2004. A few years after that, on January 12, 2006, Hawk married Lhotse Merriam and they had a daughter named Kadence Clover Hawk who was born on June 30, 2008.



This is it ! I'm done ! Tu peux me retaper ton texte en entier corrigé si tu veux, je verrai si tu ou j'ai laissé des fautes ;-)

Merci encore et tu es très forte en anglais et je vois tout de suite que j'aurai pu eviter des fautes,

How it all started

Tony Hawk was born in San diego, California,on May 12,1968. He studied at the Torrey Pines High School near Del Mar His parents are Frank and Nancy Hawk, Frank was a officer of the U.S. Navy and Nancy was a teacher has part-time. And He has one brother. At the age of 9, his older brother Steve made him discover skateboarding and gave him own of his boards. Tony Hawk became a professional, at the age of 11. After that, On July 27, 1999, one of his figures propels him to the rank of the most popular skater in the world, the « 900 » Hawk was the first skater to land a « 900 » in competition, this figure consists in doing two rotations and a half in the air (360 + 360 + 180).

Piling up hits

In 1987, Tony Hawk acted in the film « Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol » as one of the teen skateboarders. Then, in 1989, he acted as a skateboarder in Gleaming The Cube. In 2003, He appeared in The Simpson : Homer is going to pay with him. Moreover in 2004 he played his own character in the Australian skateboarding movie Deck Dogz. In 2006, Tony Hawk got a cameo role for the movie Drake & Josh Go Hollywood playing his own role; when Drake & Josh steal his car to escape from two crooks with the Geo (iPods) that carry illegal information for counterfeiting money. He also got a cameo role in the Simple Plan music video for "I'm Just a Kid", where he can be seen, in a crowd, watching kids in a skating school and last but not least video game series based on his skateboarding debuted in 1999. Since then, the series has spawned 15 titles and more.

More than a skater

Tony Hawk is also the creator of the Tony Hawk Foundation, is to help modest communities to create skateboard parks. He is the author of an autobiography entitled Hawk : occupation : Skateboarder. But more than that, Tony is a father. He married Cindy Dunbar on April 1990. They had a son named Hudson "Riley" Hawk who was born on December 6, 1992. Riley also skates for his father’s Birdhouse Skateboards. The couple got divorced in 1993. Then, Hawk married Erin Lee in 1996. They had two sons : Spencer was born on July 26, 1999 and Keegan on March 18, 2001. But Hawk divorced Erinin in 2004. A few years after that, on January 12, 2006, Hawk married Lhotse Merriam and they had a daughter named Kadence Clover Hawk who was born on June 30, 2008.

Il n'y a pas de quoi ça fait plaisir de pouvoir aider !! je te conseille d'apprendre les règles de ponctuation d'anglais (qui ne sont pas les mêmes qu'en français !) car en français on a tendance à mettre des virgules de partout, mais en anglais ça change rapidement le sens d'une phrase... ! J'espere que je t'aurai aidé !


How it all started

Tony Hawk was born in San diego, California,on May 12,1968. He studied at the Torrey Pines High School near Del Mar.
His parents are Frank and Nancy Hawk, Frank was an officer of the U.S. Navy and Nancy was a teacher as a part-time job. Tony has one brother. At the age of 9, his older brother Steve made him discover skateboarding and gave him one of his own boards. Tony Hawk became a professional, (pas de virgule!) at the age of 11. After that, On July 27, 1999, one of his figures (the « 900 ») propels him to the rank of the most popular skater in the world. Hawk was the first skater to land a « 900 » in competition, this figure consists in doing two rotations and a half in the air (360 + 360 + 180).

Piling up hits

In 1987, Tony Hawk acted in the film « Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol » as one of the teen skateboarders. Then, in 1989, he acted as a skateboarder in Gleaming The Cube. In 2003, He appeared in The Simpson : Homer is going to pay with him. Moreover in 2004 he played his own character in the Australian skateboarding movie Deck Dogz. In 2006, Tony Hawk got a cameo role for the movie Drake & Josh Go Hollywood playing his own role; when Drake & Josh steal his car to escape from two crooks with the Geo (iPods) that carry illegal information for counterfeiting money. He also got a cameo role in the Simple Plan music video for "I'm Just a Kid", where he can be seen, in a crowd, watching kids in a skating school. And last but not least, a video game series based on his skateboarding debuted in 1999. Since then, the series has spawned 15 titles and more.

More than a skater

Tony Hawk is also the creator of the Tony Hawk Foundation, its purpose is to help modest communities to create skateboard parks. He is the author of an autobiography entitled Hawk : occupation : Skateboarder. But more than that, Tony is a father. He married Cindy Dunbar on April 1990. They had a son named Hudson "Riley" Hawk who was born on December 6, 1992. Riley also skates for his father’s Birdhouse Skateboards. The couple got divorced in 1993. Then, Hawk married Erin Lee in 1996. They had two sons : Spencer was born on July 26, 1999 and Keegan on March 18, 2001. But Hawk divorced Erinin in 2004. A few years later (en fait "later" va mieux que "after that" lol...), on January 12, 2006, Hawk married Lhotse Merriam and they had a daughter named Kadence Clover Hawk who was born on June 30, 2008.

voilà ! j'ai fait plus simple cette fois j'ai juste viré ce qui allait pas et j'ai remplacé par ce qui était juste. Tu n'as plus qu'à recopier ton texte, cette fois je pense que c'est bon  

Merci et pour later j'y avais pensé et jreviendrai te dire ma note

Merci beaucoup

J'ai eu 19 je te remercie beaucoup

ahhhhh génial !!! ben c'était un plaisir !
merci d'être revenu pour me dire ta note !!

bon courage pour la suite