Correction anglais svp

Bonjourje viens de terminer mon commentaire, en espérant qu'il n'y ait pas trop de faute :!, pouvez vous m'aidez pour une correction svp le voici:

First of all, as regards the question of pursue his studies, today, we can't live without degree,it's very dificult and it's a necessary, if we have degree we can find a job more easily and we can live more comfortably.
If we make studies, we become more intelligent and less naive. It allows to make a personal opinion on our society. We do not undergo the opinions of the others people because our graduate level(niveau d'étude ?(pas sûr)) allow us to understand better the society in which we live.
However, to make studies it's dificult because we need money, indeed, we don't have a rent, so we live in the poverty.Furthetmore, we have not a socal life because we work too much.

As for question of enter in the active life we can say that today there are plenty of decent-paying job that don't requiere degree, we can live without degree, if we enter in the active life we become more responsible, autonomous and serious.
Today, we are obliged to work since forty years, if we make studies we must work until seventy years old. Finally, it allow us to win money and to have a comfortable life, furthermore we can have a social life, to have fun, we can live without put under stress.
However, if we enter in active life whitout degress,we shall have a bad job and it will be dificult (se faire une place(l'expression existe il en anglais ?)) in the society, we will live in the obligation to make things which do not want to make.
In my opinion, it depend because if we want to became doctor or lawyer, we are obliged to make studies but we must like to work.
Merci d'avance