Essai d'anglais , besoin de conseils

Bonjour , je suis en train de rédiger un essai en anglais sauf que je ne suis pas très doué du tout (LV2) mais pourtant dans un grand établissement ... ( hé oui , on peut même être président sans savoir parler anglais lol ) donc j'aimerais si possible réduire la casse , si quelqu'un de plus doué que moi ou un bilingue peut lire le texte et me corriger/expliquer les fautes flagrantes ou si vous avez d'autres idées , références sur le sujet , ça serait super sympa ! ( je peux aider en retour dans d'autres domaines)

Financial Crisis

First and foremost, in view of the documents studied, we can identify a danger which consists in separating two different kind of crisis. On the one hand, a global recession, which affects the global financial system, until to appear in the course of time, due to the fact that much ink has been spilled, as a dogmatic and theoretical issue out of touch with the real world. And on the other hand, a Crisis that affects whole people, common people and seems to be hardly linked up with the global crisis, so that it appears as the result of isolated tragic fates . The questions that arises is the question of the Link between these crisis and the way to underline it , so that figures , billions which are manipulated every day by the financiers and polemists and comes to be pointless corresponds to a reality of shattered lifes .
Consequently, the genius of each journalist or sociologist, even lawyer consists in splitting the both sides of the crisis. That is emphasized by Gretchen Morgenson in her article Given A Shovel , Americans Dig Deeper Into Debt , these downfalls are not just individuals because , even if, the circumstances surrounding these downfalls vary , even if Ms Mc Leod herself admits her money problems are largely of her own making , she had partners in her financial demise and now that she will be soon evicted of her home , she still receives come-ons like recently an envelope upon which it is written “ We think you deserve more credit “ .
Of course, in each story, there is a part of tragedy, an event that leads anyone to the brink. Concerning, Ms Mc Leod , there are two aggravating considerations , the mourning of her father and an ill health . Both unexpected problems that pushes her over the edge, but which not permit to hold her responsible. Responsibility devolves upon the solutions that she finds, or rather the solutions that society gave her. And what were they?
For decades, the same solution is given “consumption” that could be summed up in this proverb “When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping”. In front of depression, loneliness, people in need of affection seems to only find salvation in consumption, because they have not even learned other ways of remission. Ms Mc Loed points out that when she says “QVC was my friend”, it also means that she has not real friendship, being divorced and stuck in her bed. In view of this need of affection, addictive and artificial creation appears, which was really well shown in the Hubert Selby Jr novel Requiem for a dream especially through the character of Sara Goldfarb spending her time watching infomercials on television ,who , in order to fit into her old red dress (the favorite of her deceased husband) takes a regimen of prescription weight-loss amphetamine pills after having been invited to be a participant at a game show , because the chance to be on television has given her a reason to live.
That underlines another issue, a disruption of the mentalities after decades of “Cult of consumerism”. It’s long gone, the epicurean philosophy though know as Philosophy of Happiness, in which only black bread and water was a necessary condition of pleasure and happiness and, in which , like that is demonstrated by the actual Crisis “Riches do not exhilarate us so much with their possession, as they torment us with their loss.”
As a consequence, we need to rethink “Beyond Benefits and Losses” to parody a well known German philosopher, Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, to conduct an attempt of “Umwertung aller Werte » or «Reversal of the values”. Except that now, the enemy is not yet Clericalism and his values, but Money that’s God and its religion Capitalism.
These two cults are equally opposed to the principle of life, the happiness, alienating mankind to an illusion, using Desire and Fear. Otherwise, pursuit of wealth is not only “Opium of the (common) People” but also a Vanity of the elite. That’s well illustrated by the article Recession Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In”. In this imaginary world where financiers live, there is no place for "real-world repercussions" known as strangeness.
However, sooner or later, financiers and economists will have to give up imaginary profits, to overcome their “Peter Pan syndrome” in order to build a new reasonable economic system. But, History learn us that the regents never have this clear headedness and that each system knows its twilight , Feudalism gives way to Capitalism and then ...

D'accord merci , je vais restructurer , réorganiser , et écourter les phrases , et je vous renvoies le résultat de mon travail .