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Les fauteS que j'ai faiTES

Dernière réponse : dans Etudes - Travail

bonjour est-ce que vous pouvez me la corrriger:

last week,the shooting in a school in Germany which located in town of winnenden near to Stuttgart a teenager tim krentschmer who killed nine former classmates three teachers and three more bystanders and injured seven people before turning his gun on himself he stole the pistole which belonged to his father.The school principal who said that last year he broke off a round of psychological counselling

merci d'avance :) 

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snow15boy a dit :
bonjour est-ce que vous pouvez me la corrriger:

last week,the shooting in a school in Germany which located in town of winnenden near to Stuttgart a teenager tim krentschmer who killed nine former classmates three teachers and three more bystanders and injured seven people before turning his gun on himself he stole the pistole which belonged to his father.The school principal who said that last year he broke off a round of psychological counselling

merci d'avance :) 


Beaucoup de choses ne vont pas...
En reprenant ton texte et sans trop le modifier :
Citation :

Last week a teenager tim krentschmer who killed nine former classmates three teachers and three more bystanders and injured seven people before turning his gun on himself. The shoot happened in a school in a town of winnenden near Stuttgart which located in Germany. he stole the gun which belonged to his father. The school principal said that last year he broke off a round of psychological counselling


Voila... Je ne sais pas comment tu as rédigé ton texte... Tu as traduit par google?
Parce que il y a plein de "who" inutiles et les phrases sont "jetées" comme ça et non aucune liaison entre elles... Même en Français... Donc soit tu as un gros problème d'expression en Français ou tu as de gros problèmes d'Anglais... Mais je penche pour la première hypothèse...

Ce que je t'ai reste une traduction "calque" (Mot à mot du Français à l'Anglais) donc les phrases sont à améliorer mais la construction est (selon mon niveau d'anglais) correcte...
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