Argumentation Anglais

Bonjour, j'ai un texte d'argumentation à rendre en Anglais, et je voulais savoir si vous pouviez m'indiquer les fautes les plus graves.

Le sujet c'est:

• What do you think of programmes of humanitarian aid ?

Alors voilà ce que j'ai fait:

The programmes of humanitarian aid are a good thing for ou to the countries with a lot of problems like in AFrica for example. Indeed, the poor population can live correctly thanks to associations humanitarian and the volunteers.
Firstly, we can support the poor countries and to hold up them financially. They can to feel supported thanks to volunteers. Poor people can thank associations fro their helps. Effectively, the programmes of humanitarian aid show that we think at them and we can't to abandon them like that neither. The non gouvernemental organizations prove that because they help the most poor countries.
Moreover, some people want to do something worthwhile in their life, that's why they want to be useful and help the most underprivileged. They want to be a hero to poor people. In their associations, we can see as well, the generosity of some persons with their investments in programmes of humanitarian aid. In fact, some people, during all their life, help the others: they are kind-hearted. Moreover, it's a good thing because they are many different ways to help the others and to take part in associations humanitarian. Indeed, even if they have little time, they can only do settlements. On the other hand, if they have a lot of time, they can to go to poor countries who surely have to need many aids in domains different.
However, some people want only the renown and the celebrity. In fact, they give money to poor countries just to the success and not for generosity towards the others. It's unacceptable.
Finally, when we weigh the pros and the cons, we must say that the programmes of humanitarian aid are a very good thing to the world and to the peace between the countries in spite of the dishonest persons.


voilà merci d'avance pour votre aide

Alors , déjà , c'est "FOR the countries ."

"[...] with a lot of problems , in Africa for example."

"Think OF them"

"and we can't to abandon them like that neither"

"The non gouvernemental organizations prove that because they help the most poor countries. " . Yes , maybe , but what do they prove ? Là ta phrase ne veut rien dire ..

"They want to be a hero to poor people." A ta place ,e je dirai plutôt , They want to represent a hero for the poor people .

"Moreover [...] moreover" . Ca en fait beaucoup , tu ne trouves pas ?

"just FOR the success" .

Je t'ai just corrigé quelques fautes d'orthographe . Fais attention aux nombreuses répétitions de "moreover" , "indeed" , "thanks" ..
Après je te laisse gérer pour le contenu , en seconde , on en est pas encore à là

The programmes of humanitarian aid are a good thing for the countries with a lot of problems like in AFrica for example. Indeed, the poor population can live correctly thanks to associations humanitarian and the volunteers.
Firstly, we can support the poor countries and to hold up them financially. They can to feel supported thanks to volunteers. Poor people can thank associations for their helps. Indeed, the programmes of humanitarian aid show that we think of them and we can't abandon them like that neither. The non gouvernemental organizations prove that because they help the most poor countries.
Moreover, some people want to do something worthwhile in their life, that's why they want to be useful and help the most underprivileged. They want to represent a hero for the poor people. In their associations, we can see as well, the generosity of some persons with their investments in programmes of humanitarian aid. In fact, some people, during all their life, help the others: they are kind-hearted. Moreover, it's a good thing because they are many different ways to help the others and to take part in associations humanitarian. Indeed, even if they have little time, they can only do settlements. On the other hand, if they have a lot of time, they can to go to poor countries who surely have to need many aids in domains different.
However, some people want only the renown and the celebrity. In fact, they give money to poor countries just for the success and not for generosity towards the others. It's unacceptable.
Finally, when we weigh the pros and the cons, we must say that the programmes of humanitarian aid are a very good thing to the world and to the peace between the countries in spite of the dishonest persons.

Voilà ce que ça donne après rectifications, c'est mieux ?