correction d'un texte en ANGLAIS
Forum Etudes / Travail : correction d'un texte en ANGLAIS
Bonsoir,
Je dois faire un dialogue en anglais du type argumentatif, dans le style d'un débat
le sujet étant :
The son or daughter doesn't want to go on to university after finishing school but instead would like to go to Australia for three years to do surfing. The parent doesn't agree.
J'aimerai avoir une correction pour ne plus avoir de fautes et si vous avez de nouvelles idées (pour argumenter) ou bien une façon de réduire un peu mon dialogue car il faudra l'apprendre par coeur et je trouve qu'il est un peu long^^
Andrew knocks at the door.
His mother opens.
Andrew : Mum, I have been my baccalauréat with mention "VERY GOOD" !
Mary : Oh! I can't get over it! It's extraordinary! Congratulations! I'm proud of you.
Come in the living-room, we are going to celebrate this!
Andrew : My theachers have been said that I had the best mark of all secondary school !
Mary : With this, you can be sure of make bright studies to the university!
Andrew : I won't go to university.
Mary : WHAT ?
Andrew : I won't go to university because I will go to join Peter and Jake who are already there and everything is smoothly and they will received me at their home.
Mary : Have you became crazy? What sordid idea! Nothing reason is valuable because you are just seventeen, you are too younger for decide of your future alone
Andrew : It's me alone who know "ce que" I like and "ce que" I want to do. I'm not any more a child.
Mary : A few minutes ago, you said me that you was the best student of your school and now, instead of continue on your prestigious throwing, you want to break everything and give up your studies for surfing ? This is a reaction of a responsable person ?
Andrew : In 3 years, I will have the age for pass the worldwide competition of the champions of surfing thanks to this intensive formation because I'll be acquiered new skills who will me assure the win. It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity which won't never present again. It is an unforgettable and benificial experience.
Mary : You have been persuaded me. I see that it isn't an impulsive act and that you are carefully though throught about it. But I shall gone my consent one condition that you "reprennes" yours studies when you'll come back.
Andrew : OK. I am agree.
They take in theirs arms and leave ...
MERCI 
bon, on va corriger ca:
Andrew knocks at the door.
His mother opens.
Andrew : Mum, I have obtained my baccalauréat with mention "VERY GOOD" !
Mary : Oh! I can't get over it (on dirait plus "believe" plutot que "get over" qui a une connotation plus dramatique)! It's extraordinary (pareil, on utiliserait plus "unbelievable" ou "wonderful" ) ! Congratulations! I'm proud of you.
Come in the living-room, we are going to celebrate this!
Andrew : My teachers (pas de h apres le T) have [trike]been[/strike] said that I had the best mark of all the secondary school !
Mary : With this, you can be sure of making bright studies in university!
Andrew : I won't go to university.
Mary : WHAT ?
Andrew : I won't go to university because I will go to join Peter and Jake who are already there and everything is going smoothly and they will receive me at their home. (ils sont ou Peter et Jake ? )
Mary : Have you become crazy? What sordid idea! Nothing reason is valuable because you are just seventeen, you are too younger for decide of your future alone (ta phrase ne veux rien dire comme ca)
Andrew : It's me alone who knows what I like and [b][/b] I want to do. I'm not a child anymore.
Mary : A few minutes ago, you told me that you were the best student of your school and now, instead of continuing on your prestigious way/path[b], you want to break everything and give up your studies for surfing ? Is this [b]the reaction of a responsable person ?
Andrew : In 3 years, I will have the age to pass the worldwide competition of the champions of surfing thanks to this intensive training[/i] because I'll be acquier[b]ing new skills who will me assure to win. It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity which will never present itself again. It is an unforgettable and beneficial experience.
Mary : You have been persuaded me. I see that it isn't an impulsive act and that you have carefully thought it through.[i] But I shall give my consent on one condition that you [i]take back on yours studies when you'll come back.
Andrew : OK. I am agree.
Theyhug each other and leave ...
Voila, compare bien les 2 versions
Et surtout, il y a 2 phrases qui sont incomprehensibles, revois les 
Message édité par Dafen@IDN le 27-09-2008 à 22:46:21
Répondre à Dafen@IDN
