rosa parks dossier bac correction anglais

re bonjour! je dois rendre un dossier demin (pour le bac-je sui en section europenne anglais) et j'aimerai que quelqun puisse corrigé ma conclusion (mon sujet c rosa parks). merci davance!

Rosa Parks had a precursory role in the civil rights movement, that’s why she’s called “the mother of the civil rights movement”. After her, many black people mobilized them to fight segregation. Afro Americans are nowadays recognized as full citizen even if there is still some disparities in the American society...In fact, the civil rights movement permitted to black people to be recognized as full size citizen which allowed them to climb progressively the rungs of the society.
Mentalities evolved in many domains, particularly in the artistic, athletic and political domains where Afro Americans are excellent. For instance, Condoleezza Rice (the current United States secretary of state), Michael Jordan (Basketball), Jimmy Hendrix (a famous singer)... However, social disparities and racist organizations like the Ku Klux Klan still exist in the Southern states. The case of Barack Obama illustrates the two faces of the United States of America. On one hand it illustrates the success of the afro-Americans social integration (Barack Obama is in front of Hillary Clinton in the democratic investiture course with 1882 delegates against 1774) and on the other hand his defeat in West Virginia shows that the racial factor is still important In fact, in Virginia two white electors on ten were influent by the racial factor.
Could Barack Obama election solve these disparities?