Tom's Guide > Forum > Etudes / Travail > Correction expression anglais (130 mots)

Correction expression anglais (130 mots)

Forum Etudes / Travail : Correction expression anglais (130 mots)

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Bonjour à tous !

J'ai fait une expression en Anglais pour m'entrainer et j'ai essayé de la faire la plus littéraire possible étant donné que le but de l'exercice n'est pas de faire long (environ 130 mots) mais de faire une rédaction de grande qualité.

Je voudrais donc, si c'est possible, que vous me disiez si il y a des fautes et aussi, comment rendre le texte plus littéraire (en remplaçant des mots par exemple, des expressions).

Voila le sujet :
If you had a dinner at Karma kitchen, would you give a service or a donation ? Why ? Why not ?
=> Karma Kitchen est juste un restaurant ou l'on peut payer de deux manières différentes : soit en payant ou alors en rendant un service (faire la vaisselle, faire le service, nettoyer). Ce qui permet au plus pauvre d'aller au restaurant.

Voila ce que j'ai fait
If I had dinner at Karma kitchen, I think I would prefer to give money rather than give a service for many reasons. On the one hand, I think that doing washing up or other tasks is humiliating, especially in front of his family, as it expresses a certain inability to pay for the meals. On the other hand, I would feel guilty to benefit from a free meal because I could pay for it, I would have the feel to steal the meal of a person who couldn't afford to pay for it. But, give a service also can be interesting because I could eat for free. However, if I had to make a choice, I would choose to give a donation.

Merci d'avance de votre aide ! :)

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Citation :

If I had a dinner at Karma kitchen, I think I would prefer to give money rather than giving a service for many reasons. On the one hand, I think that doing the washing up or other tasks is humiliating, especially in front of his family, as it expresses a certain inability to pay for the meals. On the other hand, I would feel guilty to have the benefit of a free meal because I could pay for it, It would feel like stealing the meal of a person who couldn't afford to pay for it. But, giving a service can also be interesting because I could eat for free. However, if I had to make a choice, I would choose to give a donation.



C'est pas trop mal, mais attention aux oublis (a, the,...)

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Répondre à Bodiker

Raul10 a écrit :


If I had a dinner at Karma kitchen, I think I would prefer to give money rather than giving a service for many reasons. On the one hand [Firstable?], I think that doing the washing up or other tasks is [can be?] humiliating, especially in front of his family, as it expresses a certain inability to pay for the meals. On the other hand, I would feel guilty to benefit from a free meal because I could pay for it, I would have the feeling to steal the meal of a person who couldn't afford to pay for it. But, give a service also can be interesting because I could eat for free. However, if I had to make a choice, I would choose to give a donation.



Ma petite correction.. mais bon celle de Bodiker me parait très bien! :)

Répondre à Elea_69


:hello:

If I had a dinner at Karma kitchen, I think I would prefer to give money rather than giving a service for several reasons. [On the []first[/] hand [Firstly], I think that doing the washing up or other tasks [can be] humiliating, especially in front of [ones] family.[It] [defines]a certain inability to pay for the meal. Secondly, I would feel guilty to benefit from a free meal because I could pay for it, I would have the feeling to steal[][steeling]][/] a meal from a person who couldn't afford to pay for it.[To [give a service is also interesting because I could eat for free. However, if I had to make a choice, I would choose to give a donation.

Répondre à Adrienne27

Merci à tous pour votre aide.

Je vais pouvoir présenter pour la rentrée un bon texte. :-)

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Répondre à Raul10
Tom's Guide > Forum > Etudes / Travail > Correction expression anglais (130 mots)
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