Correction d'une petite rédaction

Bonjour,

Je viens de finir ma redac en Anglais et je pense que même après avoir bien regardé, il y a des fautes, de mauvaises tournures de phrases ou même des phrases qui ont la possibilité d'être plus jolie, élégante à lire, etc...

We have just learnt that a comet has just hurt the earth.
First, missiles from many rich countries were launched and hit the comet, to no avail. Second, the army was deployed on place. When the comet hurt the earth, all of a sudden, 4.400 people apperaed. Many people, young and old, all different and we don't know why they are here but the F.B.I two of whom two agents, Tom Baldwin and Diana Skowis, are working on to look for the reasons of their presence.
They all are locked up in a big room while they are questionned about their their age, their name, where from they come and what they remember before their arrival. We know that theirs spirits are confused, that's why thez are worried since they don't understand what happened.
Yes indeed, they fear for the following events.

To conclude, people working on this affair, with few indications, work by day and by night to discover all truth on this amazing event still inexpliquable. We shall want you to inform the last headways of the inquiry in the next article.

Merci d'avance.