aide: expression écrite anglais type bac ES

Bonjour;

J'aime beaucoup l'anglais cependant la grammaire et l'orthographe ne sont pas mes points forts.
J'ai rédigé cette expression et j'aurais voulu savoir si vous pourriez m'aider au niveau grammaire et orthographe.
De plus, j'aurais aussi voulu savoir si vous auriez pu me dire si je répond bien au sujet et si vous auriez des idées afin d'enrichir mon devoir?

Je vous remercie d'avance pour votre aide...!!

voici mon sujet:
Adapting to a new life is not always easy.
Would you be prepared to go and live in a foreign country?


There is no denying that it is not always easy adapting to a new life when we are prepare to go and live in a foreign country.
Indeed it is like a new start; a new life where we have start anew everything.
Furthermore, that implies the fact of having to leave our family and our friends, and maybe even the place where we spent our childhood.
It is a change in our everyday life.
Moreover, we could get homesick.
Adapting could prove difficult because we can have problems of understanding because it is not the same spoken language.
And, it is not the same culture; the KYKUYU tribe let's considere do not know their date of birth because what are more important in them society are the circumcision ceremonies as an example.
Besides, KWAN asked so many dumb questions that are stupide for American kids as an example.
Furthermore, KWAN doesn’t know what it’s the sprinkler system .

Nevertheless, to go and live in a foreign country is a fantastic experience and an extraordinary adventure because it allows to make new knowledge; to exchange; for example, to exchange recipes; Make some of our customs known; and learn it.
To go and live in a foreigner country testifies of a big open-minded and thus to open on the world.
As for me, I would like to go and live abroad, notably in the United States; because I like english particularly, and because I find that it is very hard-working country which does not sleep on its laurels.
It makes everything to be always the best.
Moreover, later, I would like to be an internationale commercial and America it’s the perfect somewhere I can make this job.
I am dreamer of All America; for famous characters like Maryln Monroe; history, monuments; But it’s ok that is there are drawbacks like weapons… but it’s like all the others continents; there are inconvenients.
So, I have the " American dream " today.
I am open-minded and I like leaving to the discovery of new horizons for not to be ethnocentrist because I have realize by my experience that ethnocentrism is a mistake.