Ptite correction d'une rédaction d'anglais niveau 3ème (15lignes)

Bonjour,

Mon anglais n'étant pas parfait, j'aimerai que vous m'aidiez à trouver les fautes que j'ai fait, le sujet est internet, les avantages et inconvénients et pour quoi faire tu l'utilise.

INTERNET


Internet is the most useful invention than the world had ever seen. You can do a LOT of things as : surf on the net, chat to your friends via an instant messagerie (MSN), meet a lot of people etc...

I use internet to play many game (age of empires for example) and I love chat with my friends from my bedroom, on my seat. Moreover, I use internet to work, you can find a lot of things, about all subject, it's more easy than a dictionnary or a book ! There's many site an forum to help you. If internet vanish, I will be VERY disapointed, I'm all the day on internet : I love internet.

Nevertheless, internet can be dangerous ! All the people can chat to you, and there's people who are crazy, you'd better be careful and you must not visit some sites .... Next, internet is not free, you must pay each month a subscription.

To conclude, internet is essential to work or play, for all peaple, all age and all the familly !

Ok, merci beaucoup Grandefolle ! je m'en vais mettre tous cela au propore. Encore merci !

Bonjour,
Voici une petite correction qui pourra t'être utile...
Bonne chance pour ton essai !
Marie

INTERNET


Internet is the most useful invention than the world had ever seen. You can do a LOT of things such as : surf on the net, chat with your friends via an instant messagerie (MSN), meet a lot of people etc...

I use internet to play many games (age of empires for example) and I love chatting with my friends from my bedroom, on my seat. Moreover, I use internet to work : you can find a lot of things, about all subjects, it's easier than a dictionnary or a book ! There are many sites and forums to help you. If internet vanishes, I will be VERY disappointed, I'm all day long on internet : I love it.

Nevertheless, internet can be dangerous ! Everyone can chat with you, and there are people who are crazy. You should be careful and you should rather not visit some sites .... Next, internet is not free, you must pay each month for a subscription.

To conclude, internet is essential to work or play, for all kind of persons, for all ages and for the whole family !