correction anglais redaction important merci

Mac is 42 years old, he is a Dalit and an activist. He spends his time fighting for the Dalit Rights. He is a leader. Mac has been working since 1981 in his native village.
When he studied he was miserable beacause he mostly cleaned the room meanwhile the others play.
When he xas 12 years old he worked in a farm. He went to college (ou university) and studied psychology and law.
Mac background is very poor! He never had breakfast when he was in college. The money he had was for his family. He had a very difficult childhood.
Though Mac caracter is brilliant. He is a man who fights for the Indian Rights and the overcomes difficulties. He doesn't give up.
He is intelligent and thinks right. He is not a hypocrite and he thinks for the others


Remarques :

1) 3eme personne du singulier indicatif présent : toujours un s a la fin
2) attention a la concordance des temps -passé -présent
3) Clareté du texte !

redaction d'anglais ! pouvez vou me corriger please !

sujet : ecrire une histoir d'amour au passé en decrivan les perso principaux.



In 200O, Luna was 16 years old. She was a really pretty Young woman. Indeed, she was so popular in her hight school. She was tall and slim. She had got long curly Brown hair and blue eyes. Whereas Léa, her best friend, she didn’t like new technologie or fashion like lots of girls. Besides, she didn’t interrested by boys. Actually, she was fond of horses, she started to practice horse back riding 10 years ago. She lived in a house with her mother in a suburbs of New-York.

A morning, more precisely, the morning of Luna’s Birthday, Léa came to her house to wish her a happy birthday and also to tell her to follow her beacause she had a special present. A few minutes after, the girls went outside and Luna followed her best friend. They were walking, Luna was asking Léa lots of question when they, finally, arrived in a stud farm.
Léa pointed to a horse and said : « This one is for you » ! Luna screamed ans thanked his best friend a million times. A lad-jockey was walking toward the girls with the wonderful present. Luna and the boy saw each other and they loved at first sight. They were talking to each other a long time ans, Luna learned his name was Ruben, he was spanish. Nevertheless Léa was growing impatient so the girls decided to leave with the horse.
During a mounth, Luna was think.ing about Ruben… They was sure, if there is only one true, perfect person for each person, he was him. Even if she was shy, she decided to go again in the farm to see him again. However, he wasn’t here. She asked some workers but no body knowed where was he going. Luna, sadly, went back in home.
In a party, she saw it again. They were geting on with each other, talking, dancing, having fun. Ruben confessed wich he fall in love with Luna the first time she saw her.

Two years later, Luna relocate in Ruben’s flat in N-Y. And they loved each other for ever.